(no subject)

bout to go to church..yah lol not but yah hopefully my days better today it wasnt bad yesterday cuz it just wasnt lol maybe ill just go to god for my needs because god is the only one that can help me through this not make me feel worse or anything negative..ill just stick to god and if i do i dont feel so emo and everythings cool..i take it back im not goin to kill myself god still has a plan in my life and maybe its supposted to be rocky at first i hope everythig=ng gets better =if people love me pray for me=
  • Current Mood
    giddy giddy

(no subject)

im too scared to call her now! shes mad at me cuz im a total jackass but i have to make up for not calling her im prolly bout to call her evn tho she ll be asleep ly tiff!!!!!!!!4eva and always

(no subject)

im back from the tourney woopdie friggin do tiffs right i do play too mcuh cs and i should really stop i wonder if shed come back if i did cuz i would give up the world to be with her. just wish she new that. ive been mopein around drowning in my self pity nowing i ruined the best thing in my life(now ill never have her back ) and i cant do anything bout it shes locked on certain things all i have to say to u justin is treat her right or get ur ass kicked.. im not against u im just jealous like crazy dont c why u didnt ask out sweet heather thats been waiting on you but w/e i read those things to wow a girl and i did use to do that i would if shed take me back we can go back to the good old days its all my fault that it changed but now its toolate ive lost you 4 eva and thats why i have to leave. if im not with u my lifes no complete and i can feel it. if my lifes not complete why live why go threw all these trouble in life when im never gonna be with my one true love.why!!!!!!! i just just........nvm i wanna cry again. when will the crying ever end???huh! it wontbecause i will never be complete again and im sick of it im just scared to go to the surreal world because im a wuss i cant kill my self but one day it will happen ill have all the courage in the world and i wont be in newspapers or nothing because no one cares about some 15 yr old guy that kills himself because of heartache. im not tryin to put anyone on a guilt trip dont worry bout me ill be fine were ever i go i might run off somewhere far away with no one to reach that i no so i can start over.maybe if i start over everything might work maybe my friends wont be mean and hate me and any other just be good but all i have to say is i want u back tiff i no its a break but not having u for even one whole day is too much for me ..but that wont happen and i wish u good luck on ur future bye
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

(no subject)

sitting here sad mad and bored wishing i waqs back in the surreal world i once talked bout(killin myself)yah i might as well everyone hates me and yah so i might tonight or sometime next week and i hope u can change my mind... but u prolly cant or yall can kill me what ever one comes first to ur mind i just want a fast trip to the other world

**break***

yay so me and tiff our on a break now that is gay grrrrrrrr if she only new......... she wants to sort things out so thats why first off thats gay cuz in a relationship ur supposed to sort out all your troubles and work on it thats how u keep it goin not mess up the whole flow of everything grrrr im so pissed no its unreal ya im gonna wait on her but i hate waiting why cant we just stay together forever im not gonna act like anythings bothering me and act like everything ok and its not i hate beiing fake if any of yall wanna no my life is shit!!!!!!!!!!! And theres no reason to live. so why stay here. one reason is my parents and god and that bout it yah i have friends but yah most of the time i dont think they would care only like tim and trent and stuff but u never no if im gonna snap and do someting i shouldnt. but im out
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed

=/

just got back from church and it made me feel worse my gf kept on sayin u no its wierd now(relationship) and its not that mad me sad to no she thinks its wierd and then she s like i need a ride home and im like ok(sweet more time with you) but we get outside and she was like im going wit lacee and i was like w/e bye and such she doesnt get that everytime that i see her i dont want it to end it makes me feel like everythiings ok when im around her exept for the worries she might leave me but its aweseom just to see her near me all beautiful like and it makes me wanna smile i wish she only new that if i could see her every minute or everyday i would but it seems like shes easily annoyed by me. i dont no why ill touch her and she'll put my hand down try to get her to hold my hand and she wont things like that make me wonder thats all well yah ill prolly not play cs again tomorrow i love how the days i dont play it my girl is busy cant tomorrow cuz of banquet which will keep my mind of everything and be laid back and have some fun and EAT!!! well im out and not in a good mood bye

hate about everyone

i hate how people youve known forever can turn their back on you like ur nothing. im sick of everyone no one loves me and more and i feel lost and afraid and i dont no what to do. the only time im happy is when im with tiff even though i know i should show it more and im goin to lose her to justin and ill never get over it..tear..goin to church soon hopin i can make her feel like im doin everything right like i used to which i miss those days alot and wish i could go back but i can im stuck here forever every minute passing not nowing where to go or what to do i play cs to get my mind off of the heartache and no one new that if any body actually reads this they would no i guess its ok u kill people making me set in my mind its ok to kill my self illl just prolly bleed and ill faint off into a surreal world unlike this were people actually treat me right. not trun their back on me or anything were i am loved by my g/f which thinks of no other.and we get married and im like the apple of her eyes or however you say it.but thats not gonna happen and everyone wants my g/f to leave me i never say that to anyone im never like hey lacee whats goin on... and behind her back beg chris to break up with her cuz u no you like such and such more. i stay out of relationships and people should too specially mine it seems me and tiff have no privacy and thta everything we do or say is told to everyone and it sucks we need to keep our relationship on the dl and make eachother happy and great other than sad and mad cuz i dont mean to be that way and i get it blamed on me all the time. i shouldnt have to compete for my women when shes mine(i hope) i should just treat her well and talk to her more but that justin thing is buggin the hell out of me!!!!!!!! i go to bed crying evernight not nowing if the next days shes gonna leave me i never no anymore cuz im a horrible screw up that deserves it yes i no but y mee y does bad always happen to me everyone elses long relationship arent even talked about and no one interferes by having someone else they like. there jsut happy with eachother and think of no other i wish my relationship could be like that . i dont even like anyone other than tiff or love for that matter i might have close friends and stuff that our girls but i dont like anyone other than tiff. i can see how shed want to leave me for justin hes one of those nice caring people that looks good i guess obviously according to what i hear from girls but he seems to have another side once u really no him but im not gonna get started on him:sigh:I DONT WANNA LOOSE HER AND IM GONNA TRY MY BEST TO BE THE OLD B/F!!!!!!I PROMISE JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!!AND I HOPE NOT TO LET U DOWN=( but im gonna go now and eat and ponder on all this till i leave for church bye

(no subject)

your new band by evil_monkeyman
username
your age
your band will be
will kill everyone else so they can joinmilkmanwarrior
will be your groupiesycotic_shell
will give you a stdx_hatingyou_x
wil it happen...maybe
chance of happening: 72%
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(no subject)

Sex lives of my lj friends by chynafox
username
The one who likes their toes suckedx_hatingyou_x
The one with the huge boobssycotic_shell
The one who needs viagraelamentation
The one who likes to watchx_hatingyou_x
The one who likes it from behindelamentation
The gay onesycotic_shell
The virginx_hatingyou_x
The one who likes orgieselamentation
The one who wears a rubber masksycotic_shell
The one that likes painelamentation
The one who can go at it all nightx_hatingyou_x
Quiz created with MemeGen!
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper